I want my money back: 25 songs I wish I hadn’t paid for

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a track record of awful purchases (shout out to that $80 Urban Outfitters duvet cover I thought was a full-fledged comforter set, that copy of Spiderman 2, Tobey Maguire edition, on DVD and that full-pleather skater skirt I’ll never, ever wear).

See also: every single Starbucks purchase I’ve made since my ex’s mom bought me a Keurig.

Three years ago.

Since high school, I’ve handed over $2,000 of my parents hard-earned money to iTunes or so says my 2,159-song Purchased playlist. If I’d taken a shot every time my mother told me to “Stop with the fucking iTunes,” I’d be dead in a sewer somewhere, or at least able to afford basic cable.

Sorry, mom.

Here’s 25 of the best/worst. You decide.

1. Song: Face Down (Acoustic) Artist: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Teen angst at its finest, and acoustic.

2. Song: Caramel Artist: City High feat. Eve

Straight off of NOW! 51.

3. Song: Just the Girl Artist: The Click Five

Because, feels.

4. Song: I Will Survive Artist: Gloria Gaynor

Baby’s first breakup.

5. Song: Somebody’s Watching Me Artist: Rockwell

See also: Faith by George Michael, I Wear My Sunglasses at Night by Corey Hart and the entire Barry White Millennium Collection. All in the same night. I was feeling some type of way.

6. Song: Crack a Bottle Artist: Eminem, Dr. Dre & 50 Cent

I bought this for a party playlist. Seriously.

7. Song: Right Round Artist: Flo Rida

I indirectly helped fund Flo Rida’s future and I’m sorry.

8. Song: Pimpin’ All Over the World Artist: Ludacris & Bobby V

Long live Ludacris.

9. Song: Photograph Artist: Nickelback


10. Song: Mmmbop Artist: Hanson

Purchased in 2012.

11. Song: Like a G6 Artist: Far East Movement

Also purchased in 2012.

12. Song: Shots Artist: LMFAO & Lil Jon


13. Song: Blowin’ Me Up (With Her Love) Artist: JC Chasez

Yeah, the one from Drumline.

14. Song: Talk Shit Artist: Millionaires

The bangs and blonde streak era. So scene. So bad.

15. Song: Bedrock Artist: Young Money

A go-to jukebox jam I continuously pay money for.

16. Song: After Today Artist: Aaron Lohr

I’d like to personally thank the writers of A Goofy Movie for the masterpiece that molded my childhood (and sparked a weird crush on an animated dog).

17. Song: I’m Just a Kid Artist: Simple Plan


18. Song: Ridin’ Solo Artist: Jason Derülo

No wonder I’m still RiDiN SoLo.

19. Song: The Bed Intruder Song Artist: Antoine Dodson

I don’t know what’s worse. This purchase or that, three weeks later, my boyfriend-at-the-time made me a mix CD with this just this song on it 18 times.

20. Song: Break My Stride Artist: Matthew Wilder

I bought this once Rachel from Glee revealed her morning workout routine.

21. Song: Never Say Never Artist: Justin Bieber


22. Song: Where My Girls At? Artist: 702

In my defense, this one was on sale for 69 cents.

23. Song: Cupid Shuffle ArtistCupid

Because my high school chem teacher killed this dance at senior prom.

24. Song: Red Solo Cup Artist: Toby Keith


25. Song: Pon De Replay ArtistRihanna

I bought this video (and the one for 1,2 Step) for $1.99.

3 Comments on “I want my money back: 25 songs I wish I hadn’t paid for”

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