I want my money back: 25 songs I wish I hadn’t paid for
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a track record of awful purchases (shout out to that $80 Urban Outfitters duvet cover I thought was a full-fledged comforter set, that copy of Spiderman 2, Tobey Maguire edition, on DVD and that full-pleather skater skirt I’ll never, ever wear).
See also: every single Starbucks purchase I’ve made since my ex’s mom bought me a Keurig.
Three years ago.
Since high school, I’ve handed over $2,000 of my parents hard-earned money to iTunes or so says my 2,159-song Purchased playlist. If I’d taken a shot every time my mother told me to “Stop with the fucking iTunes,” I’d be dead in a sewer somewhere, or at least able to afford basic cable.
Here’s 25 of the best/worst. You decide.
1. Song: Face Down (Acoustic) Artist: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Teen angst at its finest, and acoustic.
2. Song: Caramel Artist: City High feat. Eve
Straight off of NOW! 51.
3. Song: Just the Girl Artist: The Click Five
4. Song: I Will Survive Artist: Gloria Gaynor
Baby’s first breakup.
5. Song: Somebody’s Watching Me Artist: Rockwell
See also: Faith by George Michael, I Wear My Sunglasses at Night by Corey Hart and the entire Barry White Millennium Collection. All in the same night. I was feeling some type of way.
6. Song: Crack a Bottle Artist: Eminem, Dr. Dre & 50 Cent
I bought this for a party playlist. Seriously.
7. Song: Right Round Artist: Flo Rida
I indirectly helped fund Flo Rida’s future and I’m sorry.
8. Song: Pimpin’ All Over the World Artist: Ludacris & Bobby V
Long live Ludacris.
9. Song: Photograph Artist: Nickelback
NO, NICKELBACK. NO.
10. Song: Mmmbop Artist: Hanson
Purchased in 2012.
11. Song: Like a G6 Artist: Far East Movement
Also purchased in 2012.
12. Song: Shots Artist: LMFAO & Lil Jon
13. Song: Blowin’ Me Up (With Her Love) Artist: JC Chasez
Yeah, the one from Drumline.
14. Song: Talk Shit Artist: Millionaires
The bangs and blonde streak era. So scene. So bad.
15. Song: Bedrock Artist: Young Money
A go-to jukebox jam I continuously pay money for.
16. Song: After Today Artist: Aaron Lohr
I’d like to personally thank the writers of A Goofy Movie for the masterpiece that molded my childhood (and sparked a weird crush on an animated dog).
17. Song: I’m Just a Kid Artist: Simple Plan
ANGST. ANGST. ANGST.
18. Song: Ridin’ Solo Artist: Jason Derülo
No wonder I’m still RiDiN SoLo.
19. Song: The Bed Intruder Song Artist: Antoine Dodson
I don’t know what’s worse. This purchase or that, three weeks later, my boyfriend-at-the-time made me a mix CD with this just this song on it 18 times.
20. Song: Break My Stride Artist: Matthew Wilder
I bought this once Rachel from Glee revealed her morning workout routine.
21. Song: Never Say Never Artist: Justin Bieber
NOPE. NOPE. NOPE.
22. Song: Where My Girls At? Artist: 702
In my defense, this one was on sale for 69 cents.
23. Song: Cupid Shuffle Artist: Cupid
Because my high school chem teacher killed this dance at senior prom.
24. Song: Red Solo Cup Artist: Toby Keith
25. Song: Pon De Replay Artist: Rihanna
I bought this video (and the one for 1,2 Step) for $1.99.