I’m scared of a lot of things. See: spiders, vest-less roller-coasters and falling out of cars mid-turn (to name a few). But, for some odd reason, I’ve never been scared of relationships, even when both history and bad television say I should be. I’ve never been afraid to give my all to another person — be […]
One of the hardest parts about losing both parents has been losing the memories that went with them. The stories I would ask to hear over and over again at thirteen, but couldn’t care less about come high school because I was a hormonal dick-wad with a Myspace to manage.
“Are you sure you want to put your roommate down as your emergency contact?” “Hell, what if you forget to cook breakfast that morning?” asked an overly aggressive, semi-sexist personal trainer during a free consultation I wish terribly I had slept through instead. “I’m sure,” I said confidently, dodging — if only for a second — a bullet I […]
What I gathered (besides the fact that I could probably use some professional therapy) was that, nearly two years later, I’m still grieving my mother’s death (and — though the dreams of my dad are far less frequent — close to seven years later, I’m still grieving his, too).
“You had the right idea when you moved in with guys you knew you’d never bang.” Six and a half years ago I buried my father. I had pink hair, a petite frame, and a bone to pick with the world. I listened to a lot of Brand New and Kevin Devine, hoping that one […]
She looked at me like I was fucking orphan Annie. – Me, Thanksgiving Eve, three sips into a Long Island Iced Tea It’s the best of times. It’s the worst of times. The holidays, however joyful, are never easy in the days, weeks, and months following the loss of a loved one. The heavy hitters […]
The first month feels like a year, and then a week, and then a year again. A cold, long, drawn out year with no seasons, and no clocks.The first few days are as cold as ice; way too chilly for Columbus Day Weekend. You stop crying, and you start cracking smiles at small talk but […]
This morning, I heard your laugh. Six and a half months later and the Alex and Ani website still has the matching Leukemia bracelets I was going to buy us in my shopping cart. I can’t bring myself to take them out. I won’t get to see you Sunday, not even your gravesite. Staten Island […]