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Dear Notebook: a seventh-grader’s guide to abortion, Good Charlotte and the real world

Moving is hard. I knew that. I’ve seen Casper. I saw it coming. What I didn’t see coming (besides the blizzard that fucked my U-Haul)? It being ten times harder (times the square root) when you’ve got your own shit, your parents’ shit and their parents’ shit. Three months, 50-something garbage bags, 25 reinforced boxes […]

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Is there wi-fi in heaven?

I wonder if my mom had made it if I’d ever let her read my blog. Sure, my entire extended family reads it (thank you, Facebook) but there’s something about me grappling with my own sexuality and temperament that says she wouldn’t approve (or at least be fairly itchy). I’m not sure I would’ve wanted her to know I […]

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22 life lessons learned by 22

1. Pop the champagne in an empty room. Every time. Run at the sound of “champagne showers.” 2. Sleeping on the cold, hard floor of Grand Central Station never, ever feels good; no matter how many watered down shots you took or tables you danced on before passing out in the cab-ride there with a […]

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This weekend in brief review

This weekend my college roommate and I were projectile vomited on by a stranger on a staircase in a crowded bar, a friendly neighborhood crackhead tried forcing his drink in my mouth and I saw Stevie Wonder pay tribute to John Lennon – live. “Are you here for a family reunion,” asked a stranger at […]

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Note-to-self: 10 clues I left for myself in my phone

May 21, 2012, 5:01 PM “I’ve been notebooked. Everybody was crying and at the end I had no idea what happened” November 15, 2012, 9:18 PM Slow walkers December 1, 2012, 1:14 AM “Well fuck me silly if the last three years haven’t been about you” bathroom stall February 5, 2013, 12:26 AM Appreciate everything, […]

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Not OK, OKCupid

Dear OKCupid, It’s not you, it’s me. We all have a friend with faith in online-dating. A year and a half ago, mine did dinner and drinks with an online-match on the Upper East Side. After a round of overpriced cocktails and mediocre banter, her date mentioned he was low on cash. As he reached […]

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The Magic Hour is Now

Since we’re at the beginning, allow me to go back. TimeHop and I are in an open relationship. The commitment-free kind where we avoid public eye-contact but hook-up on Friday nights. Some evenings, it brings me pure, unadulterated pleasure in the form of old photos and recovered retweets while others, it shatters my heart into a […]

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