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On learning to love when you’ve lost, and how it’s only kind of like riding a bike
Posted on January 24, 2017 5 Comments
I’m scared of a lot of things. See: spiders, vest-less roller-coasters and falling out of cars mid-turn (to name a few). But, for some odd reason, I’ve never been scared of relationships, even when both history and bad television say I should be. I’ve never been afraid to give my all to another person — be […]
Living in apartments with boys
Posted on March 20, 2015 2 Comments
“You had the right idea when you moved in with guys you knew you’d never bang.” Six and a half years ago I buried my father. I had pink hair, a petite frame, and a bone to pick with the world. I listened to a lot of Brand New and Kevin Devine, hoping that one […]
Christmas sucks without your cigarette breaks
Posted on December 23, 2014 Leave a Comment
She looked at me like I was fucking orphan Annie. – Me, Thanksgiving Eve, three sips into a Long Island Iced Tea It’s the best of times. It’s the worst of times. The holidays, however joyful, are never easy in the days, weeks, and months following the loss of a loved one. The heavy hitters […]
The first year without her
Posted on October 9, 2014 6 Comments
The first month feels like a year, and then a week, and then a year again. A cold, long, drawn out year with no seasons, and no clocks.The first few days are as cold as ice; way too chilly for Columbus Day Weekend. You stop crying, and you start cracking smiles at small talk but […]
My mother hated tattoos, so naturally I got one for her
Posted on July 2, 2014 11 Comments
“Months are different in college, especially freshman year. Too much happens. Every freshman month equals six regular months—they’re like dog months.” – Rainbow Rowell A lot happens your freshman year of college. It’s one of those years you learn who you are, what you’re made of and, in most cases, the art of laundry. For me, […]
The first Mother’s Day without you
Posted on May 7, 2014 16 Comments
This morning, I heard your laugh. Six and a half months later and the Alex and Ani website still has the matching Leukemia bracelets I was going to buy us in my shopping cart. I can’t bring myself to take them out. I won’t get to see you Sunday, not even your gravesite. Staten Island […]
Elsa is a punk-rocker: what it’s like to lose your best friend
Posted on October 22, 2013 1 Comment
It finally feels like fall as I sit in the above-freezing level waiting room of the ICU at New York Presbyterian. I am drastically underdressed and fidgeting with the sleeves of my mom’s favorite shirt of mine. Just five days ago she asked to borrow it. My aunt Cecelia shares the cold seat next to […]
Meaghan McGoldrick 