In defense of thighs that touch

A good friend once asked, on the 90 degree side-streets of a spring break in San Juan, why my legs chaff.

I stopped walking, mostly to let my thighs gasp for air, but also to bite back, “because I am appropriately proportioned and a moderate size.” On more than one occasion during that six-day shit show, I channeled my inner Lena Dunham and openly applied diaper rash ointment to the highest, most inner parts of my thighs (spoiler alert: they touch). Let me be blunt about the Balmex. I did this so publicly that I’m pretty sure I was sitting on a monument – and the image of it was my best friend’s wallpaper for weeks.

On November 5th Chip Wilson, company founder of Lululemon, said (out loud) that their pants “just don’t work for some women’s bodies.”  What that really means: it’s our own fault the brand’s $130 size 12’s wear down and Wilson would rather us take our thunder thighs somewhere else…like Khols, or KFC.

Maybe the Staten Island mall.

On November 9th, one very brave chaff-er (chaff-ee?) took to the Internet in an open letter to Lululemon on behalf of women across America whose thighs actually touch. MSNBC’s Melissa Harris-Perry wrote:

“Here’s the thing. Despite what thigh-gap thinspiration Pinterest boards would have you believe, most women–nearly all women–have thighs that rub against each other. Especially when working out, which is what your clothes are presumably for.

I mean, my thighs touch, Chip.”

A few deep digs later, she went on to explain that the coveted “thigh gap” Tumblr takeover is only possible for women with wide hips – a goal most women would have to rearrange their entire skeletal system to reach. She closed with “Sincerely,” and all the moderately-sized women said “Amen.”

My Lululemon is Forever 21.

Very few things offend me more than 16-year-olds who wear Ramones shirts and the Bound 2 video. Even more offensive are larges that aren’t really larges and jeans that don’t run past size 30 – which by the way is my size – which BY THE WAY is the biggest size Forever 21 makes. Forgive me for forgetting the two size 31s swimming in a sea of 25s that, p.s., aren’t made for every pair.

Take it from a girl society deems big. I’m 5’2 with a 32″ waist and a G cup. My thighs touch and if I drop food, it’s probably somewhere in the crevasse. Clothing companies that confine women to a size no smaller than A and no bigger than B are even worse than those controlling boyfriends Catholic school girls watch PSAs about. Especially when the margin is so significantly small.

Big is beautiful and, God willing you don’t work near a Chipotle, still healthy if you do it right.

Don’t let Forever 21 be a bad boyfriend. Take every quote, unquote large with a grain of salt and remember someone, somewhere made that to be a medium. Break up with brands that don’t love you back and break up with the fucking “thigh gap.”

It’s not just playing hard to get.

2 Comments on “In defense of thighs that touch”

  1. Pingback: From Rage to Rehab | Overquirked and Underpaid

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